When you were growing up did you ever hear, “Do as I say and not as I do!” or “…because I said so that’s why!”? I heard it often and I hated it! When instruction is given without also providing understanding, that teen will often rebel just to see what they are being prevented from doing. Now I am not stating every action or statement has to be explained. What I am stating it is important for teens to see the big picture and not operate out of fear but out of knowledge that their action will cause a reaction or consequence they are not equipped to handle.

If your daughter trusts you then she will be more open to listening and adhering to your instructions. Part of gaining her trust involves – you! Here are three tips in gaining your teen’s trust:

1. Watch your reaction when she brings bad news to you. If you blow up and lose it she will most likely feel she cannot talk to you and will start to hide things from you. Stay cool when she comes to you and be open to discussing the issue rather than shutting her down.

 

2. Ask her if she needs help with her homework or help her with projects. This small step will open communication with her and will allow her to feel comfortable bringing you into her world.

 

3. Share some of your experiences growing up. Teens love to hear about what their parents went through at their age and how they handled it. This will allow your child to see how you handled situations without them having to broach the subject with you.

This time goes by so quickly. Think back to when you were a teen and now look at you – a parent of a teen! The decisions our teens make now can affect their lives permanently and take them in a direction they wish they had not gone. Positively influencing your teen is the best defense against this and gaining their trust is one of the most important things you can do. I would love to hear your thoughts so comment and share any tips you have in gaining your teen’s trust.