Ask Miss Nish

Hi Miss Nish,

I am in the 8th grade and I get good grades in school. I do everything my parents ask me to do but when I ask them for anything I always hear no. I am tired of this!!!! The latest is when I asked my Mom if I could go on a group date with some friends from my school. She went crazy about this and will not let me go. What can I do to change her mind? I don’t want my friends to think I am a nerd.

Signed,
Frustrated

Hello my sweet!

Wow – there is a lot going on here so I thank you for writing for advice. The first thing I want you to do is stop thinking you are all alone in your perception of having strict parents. Most young adults your age go through this same thing! I can tell you the usual – how your parents love you and want to keep you safe and they know what is best for you. However, I suspect you know this already . What I will tell you is your Mom’s reaction is based on one of three reasons. Either she does not trust you, she does not trust your friends, or she thinks you are too young for this outing.

This is where you can show how mature you really are by talking to her about it. Find a good time where she is not tired or rushed and ask her what is it that really concerns her about this. If it is the first reason – tell her what you will do to regain her trust and do it! The second reason – find out what specific reasons she has for not trusting your friends. It could be a misunderstanding somewhere you can clear up for her. Finally, if her reason is she thinks you are too young for dating – even group dating – there is nothing you can do about this. However, next time there is an event or outing, come prepared with the When, What, Who, and any other information you can provide along with a list of other parents who are on board with this. The more information the better!

I wish you the best and let me know how things worked out for you!

With love,
Miss Nish