Ask Miss Nish

Hi Miss Nish,

There are some girls in my school that act like my friend to my face but then act shady when other girls are around. For example, we hung out at the mall one day and then the next day they made plans to hang out without me. What upset me the most is they talked about it right in front of me! Why are girls so phony?

Thank you for answering,
Anonymous

Hi Sweetheart,

I am so sorry you were hurt like that. Please know it has nothing to do with you. I am sure you are a lovely, smart, and funny girl. The issue stems from the girls and their eagerness to fit in. Sometimes girls try to fit it and bond by putting down other girls. It is all about self-esteem and self-confidence. The lower the self-esteem – the more girls will do shady things to fit in. Again, nothing to do with you!

My advice is to drop them now. People who will hurt you like this really do not care about your feelings so why do you want to be with them anyway. My mother used to say, “don’t run behind anyone begging them to be your friend!” You have to be involved in clubs or sports so you can expand your circle of acquaintances. This will also give you a chance to see how people act in certain situations and from there identify possible friendships. I wish you all the best and love you for writing!

Miss Nish