Let me set the stage for you. My cousin and I were at a party at one of my high school friends. I am dancing with one of the most popular and cutest boys in school when a friend comes up to me and tells me my Mom is outside the party. After almost blacking out with embarrassment I went outside and not only was it my Mom but it was my cousin’s Mom and a family friend out there just chatting away with my friends. If there was a bridge nearby I could have jumped off I would have – this gives you an idea of how mortified I was. When I asked the “crew” why they were here my Mom replied, “We went for a walk and decided to come pick you both up.” Ok.

Now teens reading this completely get it. They understand the embarrassment having your Mommy pick you up from a party everyone who is anyone is attending. They get they will have to go to school on Monday and be taunted about this incident the entire school year and beyond. They get how they are made to feel as though Mom did not trust them and so all of this turns into a lip poking out and a bad attitude as much as you can get away with.

Parents on the other hand see the logic in this. If you are able to pick up your daughter from a party to make sure she gets home safely then it is a great idea. Why stay home worried about where she is and how she is getting home. If her friends happen to be there and you recognize them then there isn’t any harm asking them about school or about their parents. Right? Wrong!

Do you see why Moms and daughters clash? Where we are looking at things from a protective standpoint your daughter sees it as an invasion of privacy, a lack of trust, and complete weirdness! So what can you do? If you are a teen, the more information you give your Mom the better! Give her the what, why, how, where, and who of every invitation, sleep over, etc. Think of it as information overload! Parents – you have a difficult job because you want to trust your daughter but you also want to check out their friends and the environment they will be at. So take the information, check it out, check in with other parents, do what you have to do to make sure you are comfortable before the event. If your daughter has done something to attribute to any mistrust then tell her. Tell her what is expected and allow her to win your trust back. With open and honest dialogue you can get to a place where she can have fun and you can relax knowing she has a good head on her shoulders and she is doing the right thing. Just don’t show up to the party!

With love,

Miss Nish